Best not come to battle because if you battle me
You’re gonna suffer a f***ing bat-astrophe
Kal-El, what the hell, you wanna get in a fight
F***er step off or I’ll synthesize Kryptonite
Diana, I wanna introduce my Batpole
To every one of your wonderful Wonder-holes
Green Lanterns? F*** you, you’re alla you overpaid
I’ll beat you with daffodils, beat you with lemonade
Martian Manhunter’s tough, so I’ll light a Bat-Match,
Smoke a cigar and I’ll make him my bat-byatch
And the Flash? He runs fast, but you know he can’t handle me
I’ll just activate Anti-Flash Bat-Plan Twenty-Three
Aquaman, he’s a joke, you know he ain’t tough enough
Let him sit back till I want me some dolphin muff
Even Aquaman’s fishes, they know I bat-vicious
The League are my b*tches, they do as I wishes
Cause if I don’t want it the bad guys will never win
Down ‘em like House downs a handful of Vicodin
Lex Luthor, Ra’s Al Ghul, or even Per Degaton
They all the worst and I be the “better than”
Battle neverending you know that I fight it
My victories endless, you cannot deny it
Cause they dead y’all, and they dead y’all
My parents are muhf***in dead y’all
(repeat last two lines until Batman breaks down crying in front of parents’ graves)
Heh, heh, heh. Also funny: Birds stealing ice cream cones.
Coming soon to a blog near you: Big Macs vs. Whoppers--a scientific analysis. Stay tuned!
4 comments:
Hold up. Did you pen this?
If you did, you're sorta hardcore.
If you didn't, you are only slightly hardcore.
Wow! I love the look on the lady's face. It's a mix of confusion, terror and sadness. I think that's how any human would look if a bird stole their ice cream cone.
Hey, remember when we were at Sea World and a seagull snatched some dudes churro? Birds are dicks.
You would think that these people would get the message that frozen treats cannot be enjoyed on the docks, especially upon seeing a photographer just sitting there waiting for the mayhem...
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