So I went to see Indiana Jones at midnight with some folks this week. First of all, let me warn you that this review could have been tainted by the fact that the movie didn't start until 1 (they had some problem with the download of the film). I didn't really mind waiting (since we got free passes), but I was waaaaay tired by the time the movie started, and probably less forgiving than I normally would have been. As you probably guessed, I didn't love the movie. I didn't hate it, I just thought it was pretty mediocre. There were moments that showed flickers of hope, but all in all, a disappointment. Granted, I wasn't expecting a helluva lot, so I wasn't let down that much. However, I'm gonna lay out five reasons why this movie was pretty much lame. Oh, and there'll be spoilers.#1: Crystal alien skulls? Really? They've been thinking about the plot of this movie for 20 years and all they came up with is crystal alien skulls? I'm cool with supernatural stuff, but sci-fi in Indiana Jones? I missed the religious artifacts.
#2: Random cute CGI animals. Completely unnecessary, totally lame, and spine-crushingly awful. Hate it! I'm gonna lump all actions related to said CGI animals into this one (meaning: the part where Shia the Beef swings from the vines).
#3: Overstuffed 50's references. We get it. Time has passed. All we need to do is look at Harrison Ford's melting face to realize this! The first 20 minutes of this movie drove me nuts with all the 50's crap.
#4: The plot was dumb. John Hurt's character was dumb, the fat sidekick guy (who I think is named Ray) was completely dumb, the plot felt cobbled together ("Let's have them escape for 5 minutes so they can fall into quicksand and we can have an 'Indy hates snakes' moment, then they'll get caught again. Brilliant!") and dumb. I'm not expecting Oscar winners, here. I mean, I liked Speed Racer! But come on!
#5: The characters were lame. I missed Marion and Indy's tart repartee (replaced by dumb bickering and lovey-dovey shiz). As soon as Indy found out that Shia the Beef was (Spoiler, but come on! If you didn't already know this, you haven't been paying attention) his son, I even missed the interaction between the two. Sidenote: I really liked Shia in the movie. And I liked the way the two bantered before they found out they were related.
Anyway, that's my deal with Indiana Jones. Maybe I'll use my free pass to go see Iron Man... again.
2 comments:
I like the way you move.
We should probably go see Iron Man one more time.
Iron Man's awesome.
Stupid Indiana. I would vomit right on Spielbergio's head if I was given the chance (and of course had to vomit. I do not have the ability to purge on command... yet.)
Iron Man for the win! Until The Dark Knight at least.
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